Looking back on it now, I had romantic feelings, but I wasn't able to experience love.
Having read some of the romance novels, I have to admit that fact.
I used to think I was in love when I couldn't stand it anymore to call her.
However, even if there was a chance for the two of us to be alone,
there was a short pause due to being overwhelmed, and I didn't move on.
I made up for my disappointment and acted like a friend.
The other may have thought she was unattractive.
There may have been a situation where we were more than friends but less than lovers.
I managed to marry my current wife, but not for falling in love.
I thought I would fall in love after I got married.
It seems that my wife is also not good at love.
But she's more emotional than I am and her temper is also energetic.
I don't remember what triggered it yesterday,
but I remembered that when we were newlyweds,
we went to see a movie and I dropped my wedding ring.
At that time, I couldn't find it even though I searched for it,
so I left the movie theater once. I had no choice but to give up.
But my wife made up her mind to go back again
and found the ring admirably near my seat.
In the car on the way home, I regretted over and over that I had given up.
I feel like I lack a real heart.
Somewhere along the line, I feel like I've lost the feeling that I'm fully alive.
Is it my fault?